Letting go...

We slowly but painfully learn to give up to our sweetest dreams...

With every day we realize that reality does not matches our desires and that maybe it will never do. It is not easy to accept that the plans you have made for yourself will not come true, because they depend upon another person… A person that says he does not know what he wants to do with his life when you feel with every cell in your body that you should live together as soon as possible. It is a strange feeling but maybe it’s just the unconscious telling you that you should try and be happy at least for the time you have left, because it is possible that you should not have much time… A person that wastes his time with useless things instead of doing his best in order to change his life and dedicate it to a better purpose… A person that tells you to wait for years when all you feel is that you have no more time to wait… A person that does not understand the pain you are in everyday when living in a house you are not welcomed anymore… A person that does not perceive how time is irreversible… Maybe a person that does not want you…

What is there to do? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg you to wake up and realize you are just wasting our lives right now?! Do you want me to beg you to do something and make our dreams come true?! Well, guess what? I would do that too if that’s what it takes! But I’m afraid I would do it in vain… I am afraid you wouldn’t understand, not even in that moment… Why? I don’t know why, but I would very much like to know the answer!

Then what else could I do? It is painful, but my hopes and my dreams and my heart are slowly dying with every “no” you are uttering… I just wish you could kill me faster and once for all!